This “honeymoon phase” doesn’t last long. After several days, he’ll begin to feel like something is off.
When he can’t find out what you’re up to, he’ll start making his own stories—maybe that you’re seeing someone, or you’ve given up on him. The less he knows about you during this time, the more he’ll think about you during “no contact. ”
It’s after this realization that his behavior or thought patterns might change. He may cycle through a range of negative thoughts or reach out to you first.
This is a very uncomfortable time for him. He’s struggling to understand why you’re not responding to his texts, or what you might be feeling in return.
“What did I do to make her disappear?” “Where could I have been a better partner?” “Where could I have shown up differently?”
His competitive thoughts might be something like “What if I never see her again?” versus “I don’t want to lose my freedom or emotional independence. ”
Whether it was he that dumped you or vice versa, his confidence will still be shaken after not hearing from you at all.
Anger usually gives way to remorse after a few days or weeks and is a normal response to breakups or the silent treatment. In some cases, a burst of anger could lead to him trying to beg or persuade you to come back. [8] X Research source
He might also find a rebound or fling if he suspects you’re seeing someone new too. It could be because he wants to “win” the breakup, or to prove that he’s over you (even if he isn’t).
He wants your attention because it reassures him that he still has some kind of pull or effect on you. Frequent attempts to connect with you are a surefire sign that the “no contact” rule is working.
He asks mutual friends about you (or they tell you that he misses you). He’s super active on your social media and follows you closely. He’s way more responsive to your messages (if you’re in contact). He makes sudden changes or improvements to his appearance. He makes sudden lifestyle changes, like hitting the gym a lot more.
Ask you outright to restart the relationship. Say he’s a changed person. Tell you how he thinks things will be different this time. Beg you to come back. Reach out to you first, if he hasn’t already.
If he truly cares about you and is worried about losing you, he will reach out to you. He might have been holding out on communicating for so long because he thought he could “win” the breakup and make you reach out first.
If he was truly narcissistic or manipulative, it’s best to keep the “no contact” rule in effect as long as possible to distance yourself from him.
This period can be very sad for both exes. He’ll feel down if he wanted you back, and you might feel sad that he’s officially not a part of your life anymore. If you were hoping to get back together with him, it’ll be up to you to reach out after the “no contact” phase.
